‘Thanks’giving

There are a lot of things I am thankful for this year and not just this time of year, but every day. We tend to forget to be thankful more than a few days a year, but this past year and the things I’ve gone through have really made me sit back and think about it a lot. The biggest thing I’m thankful for is my life because it was nothing short of a miracle that I lived through my embolisms. The generic friends, but seriously. Everyday when I was in the hospital my core group of friends came up to visit me. I never had to be alone for long, except at night. I’ve always been kind of insecure about whether or not people actually like me or just tolerate me, but this was one of those things that you don’t come and sit with someone in the hospital for hours if you don’t really like them. Come on Soph get real here. So, I know who my real friends are there. I’m thankful for my job, and not in the usual sense that it supports me. Yes, that’s a big thing, but I’m also thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given at my most recent one. My philosophy is to always do things the right way and work hard and eventually it’ll pay off. Eventually I’ll get out on top, now I wouldn’t count a couple small promotions here and there as getting out on top, but it’s a step in the right direction. I mean, two promotions in the first couple months? I can live with that.

Honestly, I could go on and on and on about what I’m thankful for and if you’ve been paying attention I didn’t say I was thankful for my family. I am, however, I’m not thankful for all of it anymore. There are a few things that just seem to be nagging at me today, and I guess I didn’t see it last year because I was spending Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania at one of my best friend’s houses. This year we came to Colorado to spend time with an old family friend who I like to call my third set of grandparents. They really are like a third set of grandparents and I love spending time with them. The thing that’s bothering me is that I grew up in a fairly large family. One that I always thought to be very close. When it all came down to it though I guess there was a lot of hatred simmering under the surface that just kind of exploded when my grandmother passed away. I feel like ever since last August my whole family has fallen apart and have hate or anger in places it never was before. It’s something that really hurts me because growing up in this family made me want to have a large family of my own, but now I hesitate because I wouldn’t want something like that to happen to my family.

I really wish I knew what I could do to change it, but I don’t, so I guess I’m just going to have to live with it.

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