‘Thanks’giving

There are a lot of things I am thankful for this year and not just this time of year, but every day. We tend to forget to be thankful more than a few days a year, but this past year and the things I’ve gone through have really made me sit back and think about it a lot. The biggest thing I’m thankful for is my life because it was nothing short of a miracle that I lived through my embolisms. The generic friends, but seriously. Everyday when I was in the hospital my core group of friends came up to visit me. I never had to be alone for long, except at night. I’ve always been kind of insecure about whether or not people actually like me or just tolerate me, but this was one of those things that you don’t come and sit with someone in the hospital for hours if you don’t really like them. Come on Soph get real here. So, I know who my real friends are there. I’m thankful for my job, and not in the usual sense that it supports me. Yes, that’s a big thing, but I’m also thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given at my most recent one. My philosophy is to always do things the right way and work hard and eventually it’ll pay off. Eventually I’ll get out on top, now I wouldn’t count a couple small promotions here and there as getting out on top, but it’s a step in the right direction. I mean, two promotions in the first couple months? I can live with that.

Honestly, I could go on and on and on about what I’m thankful for and if you’ve been paying attention I didn’t say I was thankful for my family. I am, however, I’m not thankful for all of it anymore. There are a few things that just seem to be nagging at me today, and I guess I didn’t see it last year because I was spending Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania at one of my best friend’s houses. This year we came to Colorado to spend time with an old family friend who I like to call my third set of grandparents. They really are like a third set of grandparents and I love spending time with them. The thing that’s bothering me is that I grew up in a fairly large family. One that I always thought to be very close. When it all came down to it though I guess there was a lot of hatred simmering under the surface that just kind of exploded when my grandmother passed away. I feel like ever since last August my whole family has fallen apart and have hate or anger in places it never was before. It’s something that really hurts me because growing up in this family made me want to have a large family of my own, but now I hesitate because I wouldn’t want something like that to happen to my family.

I really wish I knew what I could do to change it, but I don’t, so I guess I’m just going to have to live with it.

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College Debt

Today, at work, I asked for a promotion. I’ve been at my job for 3 months, as of this last week, and there are plenty of other people who could be ahead of me for this position. So, why is my manage considering me instead of someone else? Oh right, I went up and asked for it. Not going to lie, it was probably one of the most terrifying things for me to do considering some of the bosses I’ve had in the past, and people getting promotions or special treatment over me even if I was the one that deserved the break. However, my philosophy has always been to work hard and eventually, no matter how much it sucks at the time, it will pay off. I’m hoping that this is the case now. If I get this job finding a second job this summer will be ten times easier because my hours will pretty much be set. I could either aim for 2 full time jobs or 1 full time and 1 part time job. Over the summer, as much as it’ll suck not having a social life, I could probably do a job where I have doubles on the weekend and maybe one or two nights a week from May to August.

If I had 1 full and 1 part time job over the summer, and worked 25 hours at the part time for minimum wage I’d make enough in a month to cover my rent, electricity, groceries, gas and necessities. That would allow me to put everything from my full time job towards my $10,000 I currently owe Drexel. Over the course of the summer (approximately 3 months) I’d be able to pay off almost half of it, and if I got my stuff together for the garage/craigslist/ebay sales at dad’s and mom’s I could potentially make another $500-$2,000 which would put me well on my way to getting it completely paid off. This isn’t counting if my lawyer can find a way around the road block we ran into for my settlement. Maybe, I can make a deal with my parents that If I put $3,700 towards my Drexel debt this summer that they could match me with about 25% and put $900 each towards my Drexel debt. It’d put me at over half way towards paying it off. That’s definitely something I think I could be happy with. So, maybe I’ll talk to them about it soon. If anything maybe I could get them to do $650 each which would put me at $5,000 even for the summer. Maybe. We will have to see. I’d feel a lot better about it though if I could get it over half way paid for before the end of the summer.

Essentially, the thing I’m concerned about most right now is paying off my college debt because I’m not the kind of person who likes to be in debt. I’m a very stubborn and headstrong person and I don’t like relying on others. I tend to support myself and hate being given/handed things I feel I haven’t earned. However, recently I’ve been considering getting food stamps to make my life a little easier and save myself some money each month that I could put towards paying Drexel. If I could even put an extra $100 towards that debt every month I’d have an extra $600 paid off by the end of Spring semester. Definitely something I need to look into. Am I crazy for having to have all of this worked out? Maybe. However, I don’t want to have to worry about being in debt the rest of my life. I want to be able to put my income towards other sources like a family, vacations, my children’s future, etc… Wow, I sound completely insane right now. I better go to bed. Thoughts at 1am can lead to infinite wonderings.